Patternestablisment: Henrik Leslye

Our pattern is established early . We would all like to have contact - preferably loved, says Henrik Leslye. If we can not get it, we would like to be admired. If this also fails, we will try to threaten us to contact. If not successful , the last resort, to be hateful . To destroy the 'party' we're not invited to.

" This is the direction we are moving . When we feel loved and respected , none of us difficult . "

Henrik Leslye believe there are three areas that are often in play when we get difficult :

1 Unspoken , unclear expectations for what we want. That we ourselves - and others - do not get told what we really want.

2 The personal prejudices / dislikes. It has been difficult not to like each other on the job. Insofar as we work more closely together , there are several expectations that we should be each other's best friends . But you can not demand that we should love our colleagues.

" I meet a lot just in the care sector , where there is an expectation of very close relationships , whether that be would be part of the group ... otherwise you will be separated . Especially in women , there are , roughly speaking, more exclusion . In men's jobs comes just at the bottom of the hierarchy and can get beer , "says Henrik Leslye .

3 One's own share . What I bring yourself into the situation ? Eg . perceptions as :

" How should all be " , or " How is the world." You always have to watch its own share first , even if only two per cent . You can not change others, but you can change his own behavior and put something positive going.

It is important to remember that we all contain the three "types " and therefore potentially may be difficult in quite different ways. However, there is often one of the features that are most prominent.

Feelings

EQ'eren (the one that is predominantly ruled by his emotions ) : It is socially engaged , considerate people. Among them will be many educators and people in the care sector . They focus on relationships and can feel what others need . It is important for them that there is a good atmosphere and such . to ask how it went with your husband's birthday yesterday.

It's kind of people who can be confrontational . They are the ones you want to sit next to the Christmas party . They are listening and like social events.

When they are difficult , they are passive , " sweet " and submissive . Some can become energy abandoned if they are pressed , and affordable supplies they do not, they should. When they become more difficult , they become bored of it rather than fear or anger. You deal with them ( to prevent them being difficult ) using a split second to create a good atmosphere and ask how things are going . Both opposite colleague or to the parents' conversation, says Henrik Leslye .

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